I get days when I feel fat. That irritates me. It makes me feel like I’m a failure. Yet I do know that I’m doing my best to eat just the right amount – a balance between proper energy and being thin. When I have my “yucky body day” I try to eat less, and do more sports until the feeling eases out. Sometimes I feel very deeply horrible and yet even a small reactive measure can put things back in the rosier mode. I try to keep this in mind during the darkest moments. A lot of the anxiety issues I face are about internal focus. Do I get fixed on something or can I manage to get my mind off of that thing?
Yesterday I realized that what I need is to love myself and body the way it is today. No plans of loosing weight. No alterations convincing me that then things would be better. If I can really appreciate who I am – physically and personality wise – then many of my issues should be solved. I lack confidence in me. I think others have it better. They look better and feel better. Their lives are more interesting and they are less shy than I am.Their blogs are more successful and they earn more money. The list goes on and sounds, yeah, petty. Yet, these are the very thoughts I use to beat myself up when that kind of days rolls out.
I eat healthily and mindfully. I do sports every day. I work hard at giving my clients the best. I try to be a good friend. I now also try to take care of myself by not letting family members or other people close to my heart walk over me. Logically when one does one’s best, one can be happy with that. Not more is possible. So, I can be confident. I can love me, the whole of me. This goes for everyone of us. I’m just using my life as an example.
I know that pouring out my innermost thoughts like this, in a public space, can be risky. But this is the way I live my life. With my whole heart. By showing the example of talking about things that put a shadow on my life, and searching solutions for them, I hope to encourage others to step out to express their true feelings, too.
So the initial question was about self love. That firm base of confidence that will accompany you wherever you go, and will be your best friend and source of power. I could start by telling the girl in the mirror how pretty she looks today. A strange thought yet worth of a try. Liking what is now is not letting yourself go. It is freeing energy for a positive approach.
Susu – you are interesting, beautiful and loved. Feels weird to write but I’ll leave it here… as a reminder.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about the theme… Allie, I read your comment with a big smile on my face and will write more about my past life between Finland, USA, France and Canada!