Spring is slowly venturing in. To be honest, April is my least favorite month in Canada. But if I can be happy then, I can be happy at any time. I ditched all winter gear and pulled out this bag that I got from a client. She totally hit my style spot.
The honey and I had a nice day going to the local fashion sale. Then we checked out the indoor market place since they had an event going on as well. The outing ended with coffee and cool buddy time in the afternoon pink light. Now we’re getting ready for a movie and sushi. 🍣
I love new beginnings. Of course they can happen at any time but the dawn of a new year feels sweet, every time. Maybe also because here in the Northern hemisphere that is when we all need a boost. Parties have been partied, and winter is now really kicking in. Luckily we have the chance to focus on new goals. Focus is what keeps us going. I’ve seen that so many times in my job as an English as a second language teacher. Clients that have a clear goal, and who regularly re-evaluate it, reach the best results, and also stay the longest.
My goals for 2018 are divided into three categories: work, sports and internal growth. This January is a landmark for me as for the first time in my career, I am going full time entrepreneur. My English teaching business Susa English has been growing steadily since I launched it in 2012. I’ve developed my own method. I have a 10-level study program. My clients learn in environments that suit them the best – be it the classroom but also the cafe, park, taking a walk or visiting the nearby stores. We learn hands-on and everyday vocabulary. My future goals for Susa English are to find a couple more clients and also some more translaing jobs. I greatly enjoy translating (from French to English), or revising (English) text. That gives me a sweet change from teaching.
My second goal is around sports and body image. I’ve had my share of weight shifts within my 43 years. I’ve been too high as well as too low. It’s been a process to find the real, good-for-me weight after all that. I feel that I’m there now. I’ve maintained my current weight without too much effort for a long period. I have energy to do all that I want. I still feel slim and light.
My sports goals are: enjoying the Canadian winter by cross-country skiing and skating. Both of these can be done within a 5-10 minute walk from my place. I have also planned snowshoeing with a friend. I want to continue using my stepper. It’s a great back up when the temperature drops too low outside. Sometimes I get up and head straight to the stepper to get my workout in before breakfast. I plan to continue with my zumba and yoga teaching. I lead a Quebec City fitness community online and the class is connected to that.
I keep enjoying my regalar yoga lessons with Boho Beautiful. I just adore her style. I will also get something new and exciting this year – a ballet barre and a mirror. I can’t wait to reignite the ballerina spark in me. Pointe shoes here I come! I danced ballet from the age of nine thru 22. I got a ballet teacher’s training. It has always remained my love.
My third goal is finding growth and peace within. I’ve struggled with anxiety and panic attacks recently. I’m not enchanted to tell you about them here, yet I’ve never believed in hiding things. Mental challenges aren’t people’s choice, nor do they mean that someone is weird or antisocial. I’m a very bubbly, life-loving person when you meet me. I have a big heart and I feel life strongly. I care. I really want to listen to others. I want to be that one person who brings you a ray of sunshine when you most need it. I’m in the process of learning to deal with anxiety when it takes over me. I need to gather positive evidence on the moments when I acted calmly and enjoyed life without fear. I’m rebuilding my internal me. I’m using two books to accompany me on this journey. I plan to share them later with you.
What about your goals? I’d love to hear from you. Or any other subjects that you’d enjoy reading?
We have had sweet time in Texas so far. Austin was very laid back. Lots of country music bars and easy going atmosphere. We loved visiting the Capitol and the Texas History Museum.
San Antonio charmed us with its Riverwalk. It is so pretty to stroll by the river. There’s a truly European feel to the canal. Visiting the Alamo was an experince in itsself, naturally.
Houston was a lot more urban. Downtown was pretty around the Discovery Green Park but outside of that things felt a bit rough. Now we are spending our last day at my friends. Tomorrow we will hit the road and drive to our last destination, Dallas.
I’ve been under some pressure recently to work, and work some more. Yet now things have found a calmer, more balanced way of being. That feels so good. Next year will bring some exciting news to my work scene. I’ll be truly free to live out my life as an English teacher as I see it fit. My little company Susa English will soar. I’ll dive deeper into how to make learning to communicate in English clear and fun.
December is a month full of parties trepidation. In the midst of all that, I feel calm, hopeful and yet closer to my true being.
Today is the first day of fall. Are you ready for the new season? I think that we never really are. As humans, our forte is maintaining things the way they are, not welcoming to change. Yet change is everywhere. It’s easy to feel pumped when the sky is blue and the sun caresses our cheeks. The need to dress up, to boost and beautify comes with gloomier weather and tougher temps.
This fall I will take things one day after another. I will find excitement where I can. I will welcome the calmness of nature and the lessons the turning colors offer me. I will trust that I will be OK – that I will find joy even when all the leaves will be gone.
Ever since my last post and the decision to stop bashing my body and start living in full appreciation of what I am today, I’ve felt a lot more energetic and happy, too. It feels like a weight has been taken off of my shoulders. My old ways of thinking do try to lurk back in but I’m sure that with mindfulness and practice they’ll fade away.
I feel like this is a topic that I should write more about, how to love your body as it is, all in taking a good care of it. Running, toning up, doing abs and in general moving your body and eating mindfully, and as clean as it feels good, are all good things. But even after that you may not be as skinny as you’d like. Then that’s when you have to do work on yourself in order to accept that your unique weight set point is there where it naturally, without constant battle, falls.
For years I tried to fool myself into thinking that I was super skinny by nature. I still think that I am naturally slim or even thin but not underweight and skeletal. Since my undereating years I’ve had to relearn what my body really looks like, how much food a normal person eats and so on. I am now able, and more and more every passing year, to enjoy food without guilt. I am able to find a BMI of 19 ok and not needing to loose weight. These things take time. I’m sure that I’m not alone with these issues so that’s why I feel like I should write out openly about my feelings even if it can put me in a vulnerable position.
Today my life is a lot happier and a lot fuller than during those years when I was focused on staying as skinny as humanly possible. I’m full of energy and positivity – and I’m sure that these feelings will even grow as I learn to reprogram my thoughts.