Category: Self Booster

Pink Bubble

Lately I’ve been struggling – again – with my inner darkness. Hard to tell from today’s color, huh! If only I could get deeply lost in a pink bubble. A soft, all-embracing, non-judgmental protective sphere.

Depression is such a tricky travel buddy. It comes and goes pretty much as it pleases. Now I’ve decided to get some help.  An external ear to listen and assist me in finding solutions.

Here’s me and my bubbly love – pink champagne. The Sweets’ treat for his princess.

My friend Miss Cupcake‘s goodies.

Life’s tiny gold pebbles that I try to sprinkle along the way… so that darker days would become less.

Oh and then these, pink finger cookies. From our friends, delivered directly from the very land of Champagne. These are to be dipped into the fizzy, acid-y drink.

The citrus tones of bubbly marry to a marvel with the sugary tang of the air-light cookie.

These bygone fashion show images still rekindling my spring aspirations.

See that smile… well, so not depressed all the time. This glitzy gal.

Somewhere there shall my pink bubble be found.

I write about my struggles openly. Do not judge. It is to encourage, if ever you’re going thru same kind of stuff. You’re not alone. Pretty clothes and nice little treat-y bites can give a moment’s happiness.

Limitée vest, Limitée sweater, Limiteé skinnies

Black and White – Chilly Chic

This spring is definitely about black and white – à la Marc Jacobs or Michael Kors. I concocted my version of the trend for a brunch out with the Sweets. Lush fruits, moist cheese, fluffy whole wheat bread, muffins to make the deal sweeter… and Starbucks coffee. All in a scenic tower restaurant that turns around in an hour.

These delicious tarts – and other yummies that follow – are from the potluck I organized at my church. I’m turning into quite a social buzzer. Who would have thought since the kitchen and I mostly like our distances. I wish I had a passion for cooking. But something else always ends up grabbing my attention. Blogging, jogs, Starbucking and movies.

I saw a film Stoker with my gal Yasmina. It was a mysterious experience. Stylishly frigid- chilly chic really is the word – as in atmosphere. Nicole Kidman as glamorous as ever. Her pale skin always ends up me identifying to her. How wonderful it is to see her embracing that feature. To see it as unique and not something to change or hide. As I did my long younger years.

I am hugging life at this moment. Really thinking about mindfulness.

At church I’ll also be organizing an event I’ve named Soul Cafe. It will be a forum to talk about inspiration. How to find our uniqueness. What is inspiration and how to get to it?

To me inspiration is that boosting event or experience that pushes you into doing things that flow from within. It is that desire to go forth and create. The conviction that what I do matters and is of utmost importance.

How does inspiration come about? Mine stems from beautiful, or my eye-pleasing surroundings, kind and encouraging exchanges and comments from others concerning my art, writing or other endeavors. I am also inspired by creative and sunny people – the ones that have that positivity and generosity radiating around them.

Look, the hubs is bathing in the pale spring sun…

Kind words can do so much. As a teacher I don’t always realize how important every me-made comment is. I can hoist up, or crash down.

My Sweets got me this chic croco skin phone cover. Along with a Starbucks coffee mug. Everyday glamour it is when using those gold bits.

My business has been a bit down so I have run across the city placing ads. I got one new contact already. Hopefully many more will follow.

I’m about making everyday sweeter with unique fashion, creative art and encouraging teaching. I travel this world to see all of its beauty – one gorgeous person at a time.

Camaieu dress, Etam cardigan, Arden hair barrettes

Turquoise Treats

Dealing with depression isn’t easy. But I am doing my best. I’m talking it out. This is the reality. I have been feeling sad for a long time.

I’m trying to mobilize all the energy I have within. I must find the way to appreciate what surrounds me again. My life has the right to feel good, anew.

I long to be the one who bursts out positive vibes and encourages, not the opposite. What is holding me back has to go.

Good feelings start with little things. The goal is to love my life the way it is today. No “added sugar” needed. All the sweetness is already there, if I could just feel it.

Being open about one’s struggles is risky. Yet I believe that it is the only way to advance. We all have our weaknesses. Mine are depression and anxiety. Difficulty to like my body.

When I dish out, I wish that it speaks to you, too.

My happiness search has been launched. Care to join me? Fashion is a way to feel better… among others. Following trends does give me a self-esteem boost.

Limité faux fur vest, Simons Twik shirt, Forever 21 skirt, NYC studded leggings, Globo boots

Blue Heart

I have had the urge to push myself into digging deep in me for answers – how to feel free from sadness. I realized that I have been sad for a long time. Sadness that is due to no one. No lack of love. No lack of friends or family. But that deep sad place that I find myself in. I put myself in. Maybe. How I got there isn’t the important thing.

I realized that I used to be a sad child. Sad for things that I could see but couldn’t change. That’s okay to realize. No one’s fault. Not at all. Then I became aware of having been the shy teen. Frustrated with myself for not reaching my dream of being the excellent ballerina. Asking always more and more from myself. Finding bad, overeating ways to soothe the frustration in me.

At my friend Chantal’s Gala

In my thirties I stated using loosing weight as a way to escape from life’s true feelings. I got so entangled in calorie tango that it took all my energy. My ballet passion had been replaced. Yet that couldn’t go on.

I found myself blaming the place where I had moved to for the emptiness I experienced. But the void is somewhere else. The root of the sadness. That I have to find. Then weed it out of my life. First time ever. Only then will I be free to see where I could really be happy.

How to get to my core. I’m trying to find out. Looking for answers from people in my life – friends, family, my pastor, reading on the Net, connecting with blog friends. This is the most important voyage I have ever embarked on.

I would love to hear your experiences and ideas.

Limité dress, Bata boots

Trendy Moody

source

Trends go up and down. Now it is hip to wear black and white, beige is kind of out. Leggings are gone, now it is skinnies. The thing I want to write about is my moods. Somehow I’ve become awfully moody. One day I’ll wake up and be desperately down. Like yesterday. I just felt like I needed to run away from everything. All my energy was spanked out. I hated to be where I am, longed for Paris, my old former city.

source

I have no reason nor right to be this unhappy. I have a company. My husband loves me. I get to have time to fashion blog and paint art. I can have fun with trends or go out for walks as long as I wish. Yet why is it that there are days when I just feel so miserable? I regret moving to Canada. I long for somewhere else. A place I don’t even know exists.

I spend a great deal of time browsing the Net, trying to find answers to this sadness problem of mine. Today, I am under the control of my moods. If the great depression decides to halt above my head, I have no other possibility but to surrender. This doesn’t put me in control of my life. I just observe and obey. And wait for the bad cloud to retire.

Would you have any advice on this? Is there a cure for moodiness? Or is it a part of life, something I should simply accept.

Cupcakes and Tulle

Tutu tangos… inviting me to twist. Ballet is so engraved in me, I guess. What can I do?

source

Here is Jason Wu’s this season’s collection – good girl gone bad, but just a pinch. A-line flowy hems. Airy textures. Skin kissing softness. “I wanted to make a collection that sort of balanced, just teetered on that line, of sexy but still sophisticated,” Wu said. So down this Susu’s style alley…

source

I have gotten more clients for my company. It’s sweet to see my business develop. Working for myself feels more fulfilling. There is more purpose to my doings. Regularly, I try to stop and ponder upon how my life is today. More relaxed compared to a few years back. I have space to do meaningful work. I have more control over my schedule. I have time to be creative – write about fashion and do art.

http://www.trbimg.com/img-50512579/turbine/la-ar-new-york-fashion-week-spring-summer-2013-033/600

source

Listing all the sweet tiny things that I am surrounded by, and trying to remember not to stay depressed when the tough moment hits. Feeling super happy, and then quite sad. But joy will win. I’ve decided. Love you, for being here, for sharing my little life!