Ever since my last post and the decision to stop bashing my body and start living in full appreciation of what I am today, I’ve felt a lot more energetic and happy, too. It feels like a weight has been taken off of my shoulders. My old ways of thinking do try to lurk back in but I’m sure that with mindfulness and practice they’ll fade away.
I feel like this is a topic that I should write more about, how to love your body as it is, all in taking a good care of it. Running, toning up, doing abs and in general moving your body and eating mindfully, and as clean as it feels good, are all good things. But even after that you may not be as skinny as you’d like. Then that’s when you have to do work on yourself in order to accept that your unique weight set point is there where it naturally, without constant battle, falls.
For years I tried to fool myself into thinking that I was super skinny by nature. I still think that I am naturally slim or even thin but not underweight and skeletal. Since my undereating years I’ve had to relearn what my body really looks like, how much food a normal person eats and so on. I am now able, and more and more every passing year, to enjoy food without guilt. I am able to find a BMI of 19 ok and not needing to loose weight. These things take time. I’m sure that I’m not alone with these issues so that’s why I feel like I should write out openly about my feelings even if it can put me in a vulnerable position.
Today my life is a lot happier and a lot fuller than during those years when I was focused on staying as skinny as humanly possible. I’m full of energy and positivity – and I’m sure that these feelings will even grow as I learn to reprogram my thoughts.