Sweet Sour Snippets

What is this blog about? Initially it was to document my love for Paris. Then it became about my fall for fashion. Along the journey – unfortunately –  you also saw me get sick with anorexia, or scarily close to it. Melt, shrink, lessen… whatever you want to call it.

Now it is about sharing what I love. Fashion along other delights. Me trying to find my way in my fourth country – Canada. After Finland, the USA and France, a new adventure.

I’m still trying to get out of the grip of an eating disorder. The last battles. Physically I am at a good weight now. But often times the negative thoughts still linger on. The urge to restrict my food intake when things get trickier inside. When I feel fat. But I should know I am not. I feel I have more surface. A tummy. Buttocks. This is normal, right?

What if I just forgot all the cogitating? No more asking if I feel good in my body, or am at the right place. If I just started living. Because after all, things are fairly good.

I have a job I like. And not too much of it, like I did in Paris. Never was there time for living. Too exhausted. Too wiped out. I have new friends that I can actually see several times a week. In Paris, good luck doing that. The commute separated me from everyone. Too time-consuming. Too complicated.

I have a body that now breathes healthiness. I have energy to do what I desire. Go to art openings, meet people for after-work drinks. Be impulsive. Get coffee on the go and stroll. Wherever, whenever. Liberty that anorexia steals from you.

This is my life today. Freer from an eating disorder’s horrid grip. I wish this blog to be a place of joy, and thus wonder about writing out anorexia. But it was a part of my life. A shade in my painting. Eating difficulties have been, since I was a teenager. This is my story. I am not ashamed, nor proud. It is just is. My struggle and story out to clearer oceans.

I feel the best when I am open and honest. It soothes the inner self. I cry and laugh at the same time, or one after another. I share and hope to encourage along the way. What is your challenge? How do you live and fiercely fight?

9 comments

  1. Hannele

    This was brave, honest and touching wriging! Thanks for sharing this with us! You are doing it well now! :)

  2. Sooz

    And now why on earth my dear Susa, why on earth would you not be proud that you can now write this down the way you just did? As something you are actively overcoming i/o as something that is consuming you? Why on earth would you not be damn proud of that!

  3. zulema2

    You are beautiful, God made u beautiful. We all have those “fat” moments but just like in nature, color, size, smell and tastes are all different. So were u created different and wonderful.

  4. Meg

    Where’s the link button on this thing?! If there was one, I’d press it.

    Your honesty is admirable, and I’m glad you are enjoying life in Canada, seeing friends and having fun.

    x

    P.S Are those Toffee Apples? They look amazing!

  5. Sofia

    what you mentioned about paris, the struggle to do anything whether it be because of the city or one’s own exhaustion is exactly how things are in london too. no time or no energy to DO things. and that’s why i decided to leave! it’s a stressful time but this post made me smile and look forward to changes! x

  6. Lily

    I totally feel you when you talk about exhaustion and not being able to do things in a big city. This is how I feel all the time. I love living in a big city but the commuting and the fast paces steal so much of our energy we are wiped out. I don’t now if I should also take a leap and go and live in smaller place. It surely sounds enticing. I wish I could see my friends more often without having to arrange it a week prior and spending 1 hour in the car or the metro…

    Kisses xoxo

  7. classiq

    Hello, Susu. I hope all is well. The sea photos are so beautiful! I never get tired of those. Have a wonderful day!
    Ada

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